Fragile
by hhlover101
Summary: Insecure in the skin. Depression follows my every movement. It's all my fault. Fairytale endings are myths, they simply don't exist. Happiness is non existent in my world. Then you came along trying to fix the broken girl I am. My heart wasn't believing you cared, but my head told me otherwise. We'll see how this plays out. Re-write of Dark and Lovely. *Reviews*
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The Hell I Call My Very Own**

**Story Title: Fragile (re-write of Dark and Lovely)**

_Broken pieces of  
A barely breathing story  
Where there once was love  
Now there's only me  
And the lonely…_

_**The Lonely- by Christina Perri**_

I sit on top of the hill overlooking the staggering view of the infamous Hollywood. The sun dipped into the depths of the evergreen trees igniting them with a radiant shine. The calm ocean blue sky blended brilliantly with the sun's peachy waves of shine. I could see people having a casual conversation down the rocky paths; they were smiling, laughing, and having fun which I was envious of. I'm stuck up here drowning in my sorrows wanting to awaken from this nightmare. There's no path leading me to where I want to be. What's meant to be is simply not there. Today marks the 10th anniversary of my father's death. A man's life was taken away all because of my idiotic ways. Guilt, sorrow, and anger invades my emotions. I let tears whisk away from my eyes and fall onto the surface of my jeans. It's my entire fault. I let the pain eat away at my heart, chewing bits and pieces of it away. An astounding heaviness hits my chest and my heart solemnly drops to the floor. The memories prevail once again, as they seem to leave a lasting mark in the depths of my thoughts. I try hard to erase all the pain, all the dark thoughts, but to no avail they never fade. 10 years since I lost my father. 10 years since he died due to my careless acts. This was the one place him and I shared with each other. We always used to watch the stars embellish the night sky up here, and basically he and I always had a good time up here in this very spot. It's better taking a visit up here than the cemetery where grief lives on. All those people there mourning, crying hysterically, and longing for his presence again. My heart could only take so much. My Mom down there with her new boyfriend did I mention I despise him. He's not necessarily my favorite person in the world. I was supposed to at least make an appearance down there, but I protested and ended up here.

I continue to let my gaze fall upon the baby blue coated sky. The sun kept on shining, but my eyes only know the color of darkness. I can't seem to find the silver lining. Nothing in my life is the same anymore. The bright yellow hues of the sun found my eyes and delivered a striking brightness, which made me squint at the sudden sight. I moved to the left slightly having the trees block the projection of the sun. I moved my blanket along with me that I always brought when I came up here. I had it placed underneath me wanting to not get my clothes filthy with muck from the ground. The blanket had a simple blood red and black checkered pattern plastered on the back and front. My Dad and I always sat up on this very quilt like blanket whenever we visited here. 18 years old. I was 8 when I saw it all happen to me. Still can't believe it was a decade ago since it all happened. The flashback replays in my mind as the memories killing my being still saunter.

_Flashback_

_My Dad and I sat upon the dirt covered ground as we watched the meteor shower at our spot. He held me closely in his tight embrace as we sat on our beloved blanket. I let my head rest on the surface of his chest, as I felt and heard his heartbeat. I was 6 years old at the time. His hold on me never ceased to loosen as we sat up here enjoying the night. I could see bright orange flames fall from the sky at an unbelievable pace. My heart jumped in joy at the astonishing sight. One by the one they fell into unknown vicinities. The night sky illuminated with the bright infusion of orange and yellow. The stars held their place up in the sky elucidating it. I looked over to my right avoiding the sight of the meteor shower averting my gaze elsewhere. There stood the moon with its luminescent glow. I smiled at the sight and loved the amazing view that lay before me. Today was surely a fairytale. I returned my gaze to the reason why I came up here, and was disappointed to see nothing but the stars now. I looked up at my Dad and shot him a smug frown._

"_What's wrong sweetie? I thought you were having fun." I shrugged my shoulders, and down casted my eyes having sadness painted all over my face._

"_It's just that I wish it would've lasted forever. One second I look over at the moon, and then suddenly those bright orange flame stop dropping from the sky."_

"_I'm sorry honey." He kissed the top of my forehead delicately, and shot me a warm smile. I averted my gaze back to meet his eyes, and I wondered why he was so happy._

"_Sweetie. Loren listen to me when I tell you this. Some things are not going to last forever. In the blink of an eye things could disappear quickly. Just appreciate all the small things life brings you. Don't take it all for granted. Honey there will be plenty more meteor showers were that came from, and we will see every one of them. Promise me you'll appreciate what you have. If you don't take advantage of all of it now it will be wiped away in a matter of seconds. Even when you're feeling down honey be strong and keep faith in things getting better. Like your mother always say "in order for the sun to shine there has to be some darkness." _

"_I promise Daddy I'll always keep faith in hope, and I'll appreciate what I have." I said assuring him I'd keep my promise._

"_Good job sweetie. Make sure you keep to your promise." He said pointing a finger at me._

"_I will Dad. I'll keep that promise no matter what."_

The flashback ended and I nimbly found my way back to reality. I brought my knees underneath my chin, and began to cry hysterically. Water continuously fell from my eye-sockets as I let my emotions lay on my sleeve. Depression seems to love following my every movement. Insecure in the skin. I'm trying my best to keep faith in hope, but it seems like an impossible challenged now. A weak mind, hardly any moral support, taunted by the revolting memories every day I live. I can't take it. I am almost at the point of breaking, as I crack slowly. All those promises forgotten and wasted. I began to whimper violently as I screamed internally, wishing it would all end. Teased every day at school for being myself and nothing but myself. I'm broken. She and her little posy knock me down. Adrianna Masters. One of the worst parts of my nightmare of a life. My best friend Melissa there is always there to hold me sturdy though, and I appreciate her presence and existence in my life. If it's even possible I could hear my heart motionlessly fragment into miniscule pieces. The ripples placed there were once again tearing me apart. I can't find the will to smile anymore seeing there is no point too. My being is deteriorating as the seconds pass. I lifted my head up from the support of my now damp kneecaps, and scrutinized the sky with my gaze. Where's my path. The path leading me to where I'm meant to be. Where's the happiness I was promised. Growing up was supposed to be beneficial not like this. This thing I call my life is my own personal hell. Fairytale endings are myths, they don't exist. Faith is inanimate. Hope is also nonexistent in my world.

I'm helpless.

It would be inept for me to feel anything but numbness. Is that it? Is happiness something I'm never going to able to fully experience for myself? I guess feeling anything but depression would be an abnormality. I'm worthless. I have no purpose being here.

"I'm a waste in this world. I don't understand why I'm still here. I'm worthless, unessential, and plainly meaningless." I said in between sobs. I resumed weeping in distress once again, when I heard a twig snap behind me. I automatically turned around only to face a seemingly familiar man. I quickly wiped away any tears covering my face, and studied the man before me. His brown chocolate coated eyes glowed beautifully in the dim sunshine. His brown dismantled hair added more astounding features to his looks. His tall structure was covered with a grey t-shirt with a leather jacket planted on top. The shirt admired his muscular structure. And as soon as I looked back up to meet his iridescent eyes I see he had a warm smile plastered on his face. I quickly turned around avoiding his gaze, and sprung up from my spot and hurriedly attempted to walk away from this situation. I didn't want to impose. I tried to walk past him, but he stopped me with his words.

"I heard what you said. I heard every word. I take one good look at you and I could see you're not worthless, you're not meaningless; you're anything but what you may think of yourself. You're beautiful. I'm just saying the truth, and I could clearly see you breaking in front of me I want to help you." I stood there for a moment and analyzed his words. I'm used to lies and disappointment. Something in his words showed he wasn't lying, but my heart told me otherwise.

"You don't know anything about me. You surely don't know what I've been through. So don't pamper me with kind words if you don't know a single detail about me." I said snappily trying to prove a point.

"You're right I don't know anything about you, but I'm someone who reads people very easily. Your eyes tell your story, and I could certainly read body language. You've been through a lot I could tell. I see you're broken. What I see the most though is a girl afraid to have hope. A girl that doesn't believe in much. I see you're fragile. I want to help." I gave him a perplexed look wondering if I should buy into his words. My eyebrows pressed together as the tears flashed away. By instinct I went what my heart always believes.

"Thanks for the concern but don't waste your time helping someone who is helpless. I'm meaningless it's not a matter of opinion it's a fact. I see you want to help, but I'm sorry no one can change what I am."

"You're a human being, just like the rest of us. I could fix you. I want to help you. I know it's not impossible." I stared at him intently and questioned his persistence. I decided it was enough and I was done dealing with it. I appreciate the concern, but it's pointless for him to even attempt to fix somebody as broken as me.

"That's where you're wrong, it is impossible. I'm beyond broken, and I'll never be "fixed." Just save yourself wasted time. I'm someone who can't be saved from all of this. I've spent ten years feeling this way, and it's never going to differ. Go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day. Here's a note for future references though don't help somebody when you don't even really care." I began to let my feel tremble upon the dirt path, while walking away from him.

"I do care actually." He yelled from across the way. I laughed bitterly and ignored his last remark. Nobody cares. No one is ever going to care. I'm used to this already. I guess he doesn't know that. Then again he doesn't know anything about me. Hardly anybody does.

I'm the ghost of a girl I once knew.

**Did you like it? I hope you did because honestly I think this version was better than the first, and the story plotline will only being to grow while new characters come in. Review, fave, and follow if you'd like. Want to hear those opinions of yours they help a ton. The story will switch between Loren and Eddie's P.O.V throughout chapters. And leddie don't worry about them they're going to have their ups and downs. Thanks for reading, and again grammatical errors I tried to fix as much as I can got to go to sleep because going to Disneyland tomorrow. I'd rather stay home writing though. I know right I'm crazy for even saying that. Well adios peoples.**

**Until Next Time,**

**hhlover101**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Say When**

_And my own two hands  
will comfort you tonight, tonight  
Say when  
And my own two arms  
will carry you tonight, tonight_

_**-Say When by The Fray**_

**Loren's P.O.V.**

The sun set down immensely as I took my time to get in my house. A numerous amount of grey clouds were hugging the sun tightly preventing it from shining, as I could see a storm waiting to occur. I turned off the engine in my car, and stayed parked in the front of my house. I let out a sigh of distress and leaned backwards extending my back farther out. I lie on my chair and look up at the grey coated ceiling of my car. I don't want to go in there. My own personal hell awaits. All the memories shriveling up my heart taunt me every second. Having even one second of the flashbacks replay in my mind makes my heart and body cringe. I shivered just thinking about "that day." The day where my life changed for the worse. The day where I lost myself. I'm broken. My heart is broken beyond repair. Everything I touch ends up turning to dust. What's my purpose here in this world? What place do I stand? I feel useless as a human being. Bags hold an untouched stance under my eye-sockets. Darkness sends waves of nothing but blankness into my orbs. My heart numbed, soul lost long ago. They say it's supposed to get better. Where's my fairytale ending? Happiness a feeling I'm not fondly familiar of, my heart only acknowledges the feeling of utter sadness. My brain only vaguely remembers harsh thoughts, cruel words, and disturbing experiences. My life is anything but normal. For once I want to feel happy. I want to have a smile planted on my face, without having to exert force into it. I want happiness to come naturally to me, but no I can't get a wish as simple as that. I started to hear minuscule sized raindrops fall solemnly on my window. They leisurely fell one after the other, each making my window clouded with water droplets. I let my ears become keen to the sound of the beginning of a storm. Drip-drop. They continuously fell just like my tears. Raindrops and tears. I could hear a sudden rumble of thunder making itself known in the atmosphere as a mild wind began to blow. The trees swayed back and forth following the calm wind's pattern. A storm had begun. Great just my luck. My Mom still wasn't home yet from the cemetery, and I was slightly glad because of that. I didn't want to be dragged to the mournful event. Partially because I felt guilty of his demise and the other reason being I didn't want to be surrounded by grief stricken people.

I shut my eyes reputedly, then fluttered then open again and again. I was trying to slowly fade away from reality, trying to get lost in my daydream. The daydream where my world is picture perfect. To my dismay though when I opened my eyes I only found myself back in the hell I call my own. When can I finally be awaken from this nightmare? I'm not supposed to feel this way. I've spent all my life containing my emotions, while letting them eat away at me, chewing up my being. I've spent these years grieving, attempting to survive the turmoil. I whimpered internally, and externally. My mind shouted and screamed for the pain to vanish, and on the outside you could only hear me let out soft inaudible whimpers. My lips quivered as my breathing became uncontrolled. I heaved in and out, trying to inhale and exhale normally. Several tears trickled down the surface of my cheeks. The agonizing physical feeling of heartache found me. It's all my fault. My life's like this all because of my complete stupidity. All my troubles, ever single emotion, the tears they're all my entire fault. My facial expression showed remorse and utter regret. My mind trailed back to previous thoughts, as I still continued to cry in silence. My Mom still isn't home. Just like always I'm left alone, left fending for myself. I ran a hand through my frizzed hair, and tried to let the stress fall off the tips of my shoulders. I let an immense amount of heartache return, and I wanted to let it all out. I wanted to be happy. I want to feel wanted.

I hardly have any friends, because I rarely speak. My mouth moving is a rarity. I always push away people who try to help me, because of certain trust issues. I don't want to believe they care. In my mind nobody cares. Nobody knows anything about me. They don't know what I go through every single day. Nobody knows my story. Not even my own Mom. I wiped away the remaining tears, and let out brief sniffles.

"It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay." I said reassuringly to myself. I tried to convince my conscious that everything would go back to the way it was, but we all know how that will turn out. I knew in then end nothing would ever be the same. I reached for my purse in the passenger's seat and brought it upon my lap. I unzipped the zipper and snatched my phone from the bag. I swiftly unlocked the screen swiping my thumb across the arrow, and saw one text message on my phone. To prove my assumption right it was my mother who sent the text.

**Mom: Sweetie you didn't even come to your own father's memorial service? Why would you do something like this? Where ever you are just get home now, we have a lot of talking to do when I get home. I'm disappointed in you Loren. Your grandma really wanted to see you.**

I let a frown retreat from my mouth reading the word disappointed. A part of my heart cracked along with the thought. I slid open my mirror above my head locked on the celling, and studied my reflection in the mirror. My pallid skin looked pale and dead. I looked like I was broken. That's the vibe I was giving off. My face showed only the emotion of sadness. I reek of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion; it's practically painted over my face.

I hate my life.

I hate myself.

I hate my insecurities.

I began to drown in the depth of my thoughts when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I noticed a car parked right behind me. It was a pitch black escalade. I took immediate notice, and began to study the car with my gaze. I could see a head peeking out from the window. I at first thought it was my Mom, but realized she doesn't have a car like that. It looked like a male figure in the car, but I couldn't be too sure. I felt scared for my life, assuming someone was stalking me. I saw them through my rear view mirror, and someone hopped of the car heading towards mine. The male that jumped off the car seems seemingly familiar. In that instance I recognized his dismantled hair, and his chocolate indulgent eyes. It was the same guy who kept pleading me for him to tell him what's wrong. What the hell is he doing here? Did he follow me all the way home? Should I be scared for my life right now? Millions of question ran through my mind. He inched closer and closer to my door, and I contemplated about whether or not confronting him. I decided to go with my gut, and I briskly hopped off the driver's side door. When I got off I instinctively put my grey hoodie over my head, assuming it was raining when it was only sprinkling. I stood next to my car, and saw him walking towards me. He had my blanket in his right hand. I guess he was kind enough to return it to me, and creepy enough to follow me all the way back home just to return it. I could see a light grin appear on his face as he finally made his way towards me. I slightly let out a hesitant smile, and was annoyed by his persistence and presence.

"I think you forgot this up on the hill. I know it's pretty creepy considering I followed you here, but I just want to return this to its rightful owner. So here you go." He smile awkwardly holding out the blanket and I reciprocated his action and retrieved the blanket from his hands. Our hands interlaced for a few moments, and I felt a wave of electricity wave upon me. Brown eyes, met chocolate incandescent ones as we looked up at each other and locked gazes, our hands still interlaced. I quickly removed his hand from mine nervously and ran a hand through my hair.

"Well umm… thanks for bringing this back, and well I guess this is goodbye."

"Really you're still not even going to give me a chance." He said disappointingly, and I shot him a perplexed look confused by his statement. My eyebrows furrowed together.

"What do you mean?" I asked skeptically, my voice nearly inaudible.

"I want to help you. You know you have sadness pretty much painted all over your face. I wouldn't want to see someone as beautiful as you shed a frown. You won't even give me a chance to at least try and be there for you."

"I just met you. You're a stranger to me right now. I don't even know your name. How am I supposed to tell you my story if I don't even know you?" I said snappily.

"My name's Eddie, and yes maybe I don't know you well enough to know your whole story. But I know you well enough by now to see you need someone there for you." He said smugly, trying to sound convincing. What is up with his persistency?

"I can't believe you want to help me just because. I'm sorry but you're wasting your time if you want to help me, just go now."

"I'm not leaving this time. I want you to know I actually care for your feelings."

"How can you possibly care for me if you don't even know me?"

"I just do. Please give me a chance to prove I'm actually trustworthy. I know my persistency annoys you but I want to help. Like I said many times before." I saw him shoot me a shy smile, and he down casted his eyes scraping his feet against the damp ground. I wanted to refuse to his offer, but my heart pulled me towards the answer of yes.

"My name's Loren by the way. Let's start off from there." He let a wide grin make it's grand appearance, and I let out a chuckle internally.

"So I'm guessing you'll let me help."

"Yes I'll let you help."

"I knew you couldn't resist." He replied sarcastically. I nudged his shoulder, and he pretended to act hurt. I laughed at his poor acting attempt, and smiled bitterly. His playful demeanor quickly changed, and changed into a more serious expression. He stepped closer towards me, and gracefully pulled me into his embrace. At first I wanted to slap him for laying a hand on me, but soon found comfort in the position.

"Tell me anything that's bothering you. I want to help you through every one of your problems. I don't want to see you even shed a frown, all I want to see you do is smile and be happy. Call me whenever you need someone to talk to. Here's my number just in case. Here let me put it in your phone." We quickly exchanged phones, and entered each other's number into the phones. Shortly after that we gave each other our phones back.

"Like I said before Loren, just say when and I'll be there for you. I know we barley just met, but I'll be there for you through thick and thin.

"Thanks Eddie." I said sincerely, letting a hidden smile appear from underneath my mouth.

"No problem." He pulled me into another one of his enticing hugs, and then kissed me lightly on the cheek. I let an rose tinted blush flush my face, as my heart belated out of joy. We slowly pulled away from each other, and he said one last thing.

"Remember I'll always be there for you, no matter what."

"Okay, I believe you." My eyes glistened with faith, as I finally could see honestly showing in him, but I wasn't going to put my trust in him just yet.

"Well goodbye Eddie." I said smugly.

"Goodbye Loren. I'll see you soon." With that he left, and waltzed back to his car. I saw him walk into the fog filled air, and off he went in his car. I watched him slowly drive away. I watched him walk away. I don't know but there's something different about him. Something urges me to put my trust in him, but I don't want to. Finally my Mom's car pulled up shortly after Eddie's departure, and telling by her rapid driving she didn't seem happy. When she got off the car I was not expecting to see what I saw. The devil itself was in my drive way. The cause of all my problems evolved because of her existence. Just when I thought this day was going good, and just when I thought everything was going to get better all that nimbly faded from mind. My troubles consumed me, and once again I let myself become lost in my darkest thoughts.

I lost my happiness again

All because of her.

This week, and my overall life is only beginning to get worse.

**Ugh! I know it sucked, but hey this is what my mind came up with. The plot thickens from here, and plenty more drama, heartbreak, and depression will take place, especially between Loren and Eddie. There's a lot you don't know about Eddie, and that will all be explained in the next chapter. He has secrets of his own. Leddie will have many downs in this story so be prepared thus the title Fragile. Hope you liked the chapter, and love new incoming ones. I know this one wasn't great, but it's at least decent. Please review, follow, favorite thank you my fellow readers:)Oh and sorry for mistakes I didn't have much time to edit the whole thing.**

**Sincerely, **

**Bianca (the author)**


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